Cours d'anglais

[JacquesL]

Pour les débutants...

Trois sorcières regardent trois montres Swatch. Quelle sorcière regarde quelle montre?

... et maintenant le tout en anglais...

Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watch which Swatch watch?



Et maintenant la version avancée...

Trois sorcières travesties regardent les boutons de trois montres swatch suisses. Quelle sorcière travestie regarde les boutons de quelle montre Swatch suisse ?

.... Le tout en anglais...
Three switched witches watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which swiss Swatch watch switch ?


Essayez de dire ça vite pour voir...

[JacquesL]

It is a matter about four persons, who are Everybody, Nobody, Somebody and Anybody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when actually Nobody asked Anybody.

[JacquesL]

Traduction :

C'est une histoire à quatre personnages, qui s'appelaient Toulemonde, Aucun-Noeud, Quelcun, et Quiconque.
Il y avait un important travail à faire, et on a demandé à Toulemonde de le faire. Toulemonde était certain que Quelcun le ferait. Quiconque aurait pu le faire, mais Aucun-Noeud le fit.
Quelcun se mit en colère parce que c'était le travail de Toulemonde. Toulemonde pensait que Quiconque pouvait le faire, mais Aucun-Noeud s'aperçut que Toulemonde ne le ferait pas.
Pour finir, Toulemonde blâma Quelcun alors qu'en réalité Aucun-Noeud demanda à Quiconque.





Je crois n'avoir rien oublié...

[JacquesL]

Ecrire l'anglais, Say and write :

[JacquesL]

Ah! pourquoi Pépita sans répit m'épies tu,
dans le puits Pépita pourquoi te tapis-tu ?
Tu m'épies sans pitié, c'est piteux de m'épier,
De m'épier Pépita ne peux tu te passer ?






Dinon dina, dit-on, du dos dodu d'un dodu dindon du Don, et dit; dit donc c'est bon le dos dodu d'un dodu dindon du Don.


Des virelangues dans 50 langues !

http://www.uebersetzung.at/twister/fr.htm

Notamment plusieurs variantes de la suite à
Didon dîna dit-on du dos dodu d'un dodu dindon...

[JacquesL]

 - Do you like Kipling ?
- I don't know. I have never kipled.

[JacquesL]

 An English professor wrote the words,
"Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

Variante : remplacer "nothing" par "a savage".

La grande Catherine II à déja sauvé la vie d'un de ses amants en faisant la même chose:

Le Tsar (Pierre) à écrit:
Pardon impossible, to be send to Siberia.

Catherine à changé la virgule:
Pardon, impossible to be send to Siberia.

Machiaspoutine

[JacquesL]

Ce n'est pas l'arthrite de Russie, vu la langue, mais celle du Canada :

A 75-year-old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor gave him a jar, sent him home and told him to bring back a semen sample the next day. The day after, the 75 year old man returned to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc,it's like this. ... First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked "You asked your neighbor!!?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what all three of us tried, with our arthritis, we still couldn't get the damn jar open".